L0VE.

love. such a simple word, but has so much meaning.

what is love? what is being in love?

there are many things people could say, but for me, love is everything. love is the smile you get across your face each & every time you see them. love is the feeling of security you have when they hold you tight in their arms. love is knowing the mistakes they've made, but excepting them & still wanting to be with them. love is doing the simple, little things for them, the little things that mean the world to them. love is admitting your mistakes, & working on them. love is wanting to be with them for the rest of your life, & just the thought of not makes you sad. love is trying to be the best you can, & if you make a mistake you work on it to make it better.

love is what happened to me when i met duwayne. he is my everything. & when i say everything, i mean it. we've been through so much together, & we both know we'll be together forever. <3

duwayne & i have been together for a very long time. almost 4 years in september!we met in 9th grade science, & were best friends. then at a truck pull our sophmore year we started dating. sure, we've had our bumps in the road, & have challenged each other, but it's made it all  worth it. i wouldn't trade it for anything. he knows everything about me & i know everything about him. i have a horrible memory, & sometimes it doesn't seem like i don't listen when i really did/am, & it kills me. i've always had that problem, & i'm still trying to this day to get a better memory.


i used to want to be engaged as soon as possible. i wanted it so bad that i kept bugging & bugging & bugging duwayne about it ; which was a bad idea. i now realize that good things come with time. & when it's the time for us to be engaged, it will happen. & i'm not going to lie - I CAN'T WAIT! i mean, i know we're going to be together forever, i guess just being FINALLY engaged makes it 10x better. does that sound bad?

even if duwayne doesn't ask me for another 3 years or 5 years i will always be with him, & love him, & marry him someday. i don't need a big fancy ring ; a ring pop would be just fine with me. :) 

i love my booskie bear so much, & he is my definition of love. <3

Changes.

Okay, you don't have to tell me. It''s been about 2 months since I've done this. I'm trying!

& what a 2 months it's been............

Before Easter I decided to move back home to Kentucky with my family to help out. Some things were going on & I knew I needed to be there. Friday was my last day at McDonalds, then Duwayne & I would head home. I talked to Duwayne earlier in the week about me moving back home. I didn't want him to think I was just moving back home just because, I wanted him to know that when I decided to move up there in December I planned on staying there in Cleveland with him until he was done with school, & I never intended on leaving. Well, the Thursday before we came home I got a call & was told that my dad wasn't happy & was moving out. My heart completely broke. I knew that things had been "different" around the house the past couple of month, but i didn't think this would happen. My whole world came crashing down. When I was growing up I was always told fairy tales. Like the Disney ones. Tales about how the princess found her one true love & they lived happily ever after. Stories about how after you get married you'll live happily ever after. Nothing would ever go wrong, & everything would be perfect. You would always love each other, & always do everything possible to keep your love going strong. But that's not always how it is, & that freaking sucks. :(

Well it's been a couple of weeks since I moved back home & it hasn't been the easiest. Emotions have been up & down, & I'm doing the best I can for everyone. I got my job back at the McDonalds I worked at before I moved up to Cleveland, & I'm training to be a crew trainer, then a Manager. :) It might not seem like much but it is to me. I've gotten a lot closer with my mom too. She's been doing everything she can for us (her children) like taking me to work at 4:45 a.m. every morning, taking Spencer to school, cleaning up poopy diapers, & even Rocky's presents he leaves for us in the morning while we're running late. I don't know what I would do without my mom. I love her so much.

I'm keeping my faith in the Lord, & I have the best boyfriend, friends, & family in the world who are here for me. I love you all so much, & thank you for everything you all do for me. <3

If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away.

Wow, it's been awhile, sorry. Let me catch you up on some things. I finally got a job up here. I'm a proud worker at McDonalds! I usually work mornings. Either 7-3 or 8-4. I like 7-3 because I get up when Duwayne does, get to kiss him goodbye, & be back at the apartment only a hour after he get's there. When I applied for the job I told them I couldn't (wouldn't) work past 5pm, because I wanted time for mine & Duwayne's relationship. Also, so if I had the weekends off we could leave to go back to Kentucky after I got off work. It's been working out pretty swell. :)


Well at work my job is front counter. I greet the customers, take their orders, & take their money. We rarely have no more than 2 people at the counter every 10 minutes, so I have a lot of time to "stay busy". Just like ANY other McDonalds, I have the group of seniors who come in every morning, & get the same thing. They walk through the door & I have their senior coffee with 2 creams, a oatmeal, & 2 apple pies rung up on the screen & on the tray for them - & I'm just waiting for them to pay.  They make my day! So far I've met a man who's met Elvis Presley's cousin, a man who plays in a country band at a retirement home every week, a Veteran who was in World War II : Iwo Jima, & a woman who is in love with my hazel eyes & my smile. They (with others) sit in a section in front of me & sit for hours sipping on their coffee, talking about whatever they can.

It got me to thinking about my Grandaddy Warring. Grandaddy Warring used to sit up at our local McDonalds every morning sipping on a coffee talking to his buddies about whatever they could. Just enjoying eachothers company, & not worrying about a thing. I sure do miss him. A lot. 




It's funny, ya know ; when your brought into this world it doesn't matter how hard you try not to, your going to have heart ace & pain at some time. You can go all your life doing good things, but one day while your at work you can get the news that your grandpa died, & your heart breaks. It totally sucks, I know it does, but that's a part of life even tho I wish it wasn't. It makes you stronger, a stronger person.




I thought about that when I was looking at the group of older people. I saw all of them laughing & talking & having a great time with each other. I thought about how their moms & dads had most likely passed away, but they still smile & go on with their lives. Or maybe they lost a brother, or maybe even their spouse. But they still smile each & everyday.

Like I've mentioned before I lost my Grandaddy Warring & my Gracie this past Summer. Each & every day I think about them, & all of our memories we shared with each other, & how I would give anything to be able to talk to them. Sometimes I cry, & sometimes I smile when I think about those memories, but either way it's still a part of life. Even tho I wish it wasn't : it is. But God promises that we'll all be with each other for eternity when we get to Heaven, & that's what helps me every day.


 & maybe that's what gets everybody else through everyday too. <3

The video below is called "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away" By Rhett Akins. It's an amazing song, & so very true. <3

Hunter Sage Warring.

Hunter Sage is my brother. well, it's actually kinda confusing. let me explain - my older brother Robert was engaged to this girl named Amy. they broke up & about 2 months later she called Robert & told him she was pregnant. me, along with my whole family was excited/suspicious. excited - because Robert was going to have a baby! suspicious - because the time line didn't line up, because they broke up for awhile then got back together, & if she was 2 months pregnant, it couldn't be his. but we stuck with her, & waited patiently. Finally January 5, 2010 Hunter Sage Warring was born. Robert was so excited! he had prepared himself for holding Hunter, & being a dad, he was so happy! we kept Hunter for about 3 weeks after he was born. we noticed something wasn't right with Hunter. every time he ate, about 20 min later he would start puking it all back up. we thought it could of been his formula so we changed it, but it made it worse so we took him to the doctor. they found out that their was a hole in his digestive system, so that's why his formula wouldn't get to his stomach & came back up. but he had surgery & his stomach was fixed! YAY! 

a couple weeks later we got a DNA test, just to be sure. a week later the test results came back - Robert wasn't the father. it broke all of our hearts. Robert was so upset. he had it in head that Hunter was his son, then come to find out it wasn't his. we told Amy that Robert wasn't the father & she didn't have anything to say.....

Hunter stayed with us 5+ days of the week. just because Hunter wasn't Robert's didn't mean we weren't going to keep him. it's sad to say but God only knows where Hunter would be today if we didn't have him.....when we would go out to eat, or go to Spencer's soccer games everyone thought he was mine. they would look at me, look at Hunter, & have that look on there face like "oh my gosh she has a kid". i remember one time we went to Cracker Barrel, & i was holding Hunter. a waiter came by, tapped my shoulder, & said "CONGRATULATIONS!" it was quite funny, but he was just being nice. it didn't bother me, it didn't bother me one bit. 

also, i have a Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/morganwarring) & i have a album just for Hunter. i have all kinds of pictures of him. people who i don't know will comment on the pictures of him & say "he's cute! i didn't know you had a baby!" or something like that. also people who i went to school with will say stuff like "i  didn't know you had a baby!" if people ask me if Hunters mine i say yes, that's my baby boy. i always call him my baby boy.

so the months went on & Hunter grew. he grew in our hearts & in our family. i can remember Gracie smiling holding him, & being so happy with him. even when she was sick, if you brought Hunter into the room her face would light up. she loved that little boy like any of us great grandkids. 






i was there when he first started to smile too, i'll never forget that. he was laying in his seat, & we had a Winnie the Pooh figure above him. i walked over to Hunter & started singing "Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh...." & he smiled! it was awesome! i'll never forget that special moment :)

Hunter is such a blessing to me & my family. i was there when he was born, & i'm still there. it's amazing to see how much he's grown, & who he's grown to be. he has his own personality, he laughs, he knows who i am, he responds, he walks, when he gets a hold of my cell phone he'll hold it up to his ear & try to say "hello",& so much more. it's just so amazing. he's always in a good mood ; always smiling & wanting to play. he started walking a couple of weeks ago, & it made me cry! my little boy is growing up! yes, MY LITTLE BOY IS GROWING UP!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                i know i've said this already, but i just can't believe how much he's grown up! he just keeps getting bigger, & bigger, & before i know it he's going to be talking & going to pre-school! oh my gosh!!! it kinda makes me sad...but it makes me VERY happy. :)

Hunter means more than anything to me. i'm always gonna be his Mo-Mo & love him & try to give him all i can. :) i never knew that the love i have for him existed. but i'm sure glad i do.

i love you baby boy <3

Valentine's Day.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and Valentine's Day is when you show the one you love you love them.


The last time I wrote in my blog I told you all how I found out some news from Duwayne that crushed me, & I didn't know what to do. We didn't break up, we just talked about everything, & it was settled. Of course I'm still hurt over the matter, but I'm not going to bring it up all the time & hurt our relationship even more. He knew what he did was wrong, & I'm not going to keep bringing it up. 



I've been in love with Duwayne ever since we started dating, & our love has grown so much, & it's still growing. We've both grown as people, & we've both grown in each other's love. I just can't describe my love for him. It's beyond words! <3










Well anyway, back to what I was saying, Valentine's Day was yesterday. I went to the bathroom & took a shower, & when I got out I looked in the mirror & saw that Duwayne wrote me a cute little note in the mirror. 
It might seem lame, but it ment so much to me! i love those cute little notes that just say i love you, it means so much to me! 




After school he had to go get my presents & his hair cut, so I waited around for him until he got here. When he walked in I was on the bed watching t.v. & he came in & cuddled with me. We watched some t.v. & then went into the living room. He kept asking me if I wanted my presets now or later, & I told him later, but he kept asking so I went ahead & opened them.







The first thing he gave me was a card. The card was really heavy, well heavy for a card. I pulled it out & on the front of it there was a picture of a tower, like off of a castle, & the words " You've got me believing that love is real - but nothing about this feels like reality. "  Then I opened it up & the the chorus part of "Love Story" by Taylor Swift was playing - that's why it was so heavy - & inside it said " Good thing I like fairy tales. " That was the PERFECT card for me, I'm the first to believe in fairy tales, & Duwayne is my knight in shining armor. :) 

He kept telling me that I might not like them or something, but I would never hate something that he got me. He told me to close my eyes, I did. I heard a bag rattling & he told me to open my eyes, & when I did he was holding "The Aristocrats" Dvd (One of my favorite disney movies I've been wanting to put in my collection) I was so excited! I looked up again & he had "Snow White" on dvd ( another disney movie I love & wanted in my collection!) And then I looked up again & he had "The Rules according to Jwoww" book. Jwoww is a person of the MTV show Jersey Shore, & she wrote a book. I absolutely LOVE it! I LOVE what he got me! He knows me so well! & him getting that just shows me he knows me so well! Gahhhh ; I'm so lucky! :)

After yesterday I realize now that he really does understand me/know me. I don't mean he never knew me or anything, but he went out all by himself & got me those things. He knows that I love Disney, & what Disney movies I wanted, he knows that I love Jersey Shore so he got me Jwowws book, & he knows that I love fairy tales, so he got me a perfect card! He is truly amazing, & I'm so blessed to have him.


I hope all of you all had an amazing Valentine's Day!

<3

the truth.

this week has been a very tough week for me. it's been very emotional, but it needed to happen. but now that it happened, i don't know what to do.


have you ever had something happen to you, but knew that there was more to the story then what was being told to you? that's what happened to me. this past summer a incident happened that was very hurtful, but i knew that there was more to the story & other things also happened that i knew wasn't the whole truth. i've had this feeling inside of me since June, & now it's February & the truth came out. last night actually. 


a while ago i posted on my blog about the situation. i talked to the people closest to me about the matter because i didn't know what to do. one side said that the other people telling me those things were just doing it to start drama. but then the other side said that it was the truth & they didn't want to admit it. 


the more the days went on it still ate me up inside. stuff wasn't adding up about the situation, & i did try to ignore it, but there was a reason why it kept coming back up. i prayed to God to help me with it, & he did. it hasn't been easy, but i'm trying.


just the thought that these things could be true killed me, but now knowing that they are true....i don't know what to do. i love Duwayne with all my heart & in relationships there's going to be mistakes made. i realized that a long time ago. but the one thing i didn't want him to do....he did. & he's been hiding it from me this whole time. i feel like i didn't matter, like he said "who care's about Morgan". i feel like i wasn't good enough, after 3 years of doing everything i could for him, he still did it. the one thing i didn't want him to do he did. he said he's always wanted to do it & that he just wanted to see what it was like. bullshit bullshit bullshit. if you think of that place....it's not hard to know what it's like & what goes on in there. he blamed other people & i've been so mean to them because of it. & when they tried to tell me the truth, i didn't listen. he told me he's been lying to me because was scared to lose me, & he thought it would just go away. every time i would bring it up or try to sort the situation out he'd yell at me & we would get in fights, & i'd end up bawling my eyes out telling him i was sorry for bringing it up - but he should of been the one telling me sorry. he sat there & watched me cry & say it was my fault each & every single time. i guess i understand why he lied, but that's not fair to me. he did those actions so he should of maned up & told me the truth. maybe i'm being to hard on him, but can you blame me? i found out other things to, & now i look like a total fool. it's been going on for longer than just this summer. i found out he's done it more than once. i think i'm the stupidest person alive, i look like a fool.


but you know something? after he told me the truth, i forgave him that second. i forgave him for everything, i forgave him for lying to me, i forgave him for what he did. breaking up didn't cross my mind, screaming at him didn't cross my mind - holding him while he was crying telling me he was sorry is what i did. i started crying too, & can't describe to you how it felt. my hearts broken from the truth. i'm still upset about everything, & i'm not sure how long it will take to stop these feelings. how do i know it won't happen again or that other things will happen? i don't, & thats what life's about - we don't know whats going to happen. & that's the hardest thing. 


i love Duwayne with all my heart & soul. he's the one i want to spend the rest of my life with, & i never want to lose him. i just hope he'll tell me the truth. i can't make him or anybody do something, or make them not do something. i thought that i was good enough for him not to do those things. i thought my heart & feelings ment something, but it really didn't. he can say that i did matter, but if i did he wouldn't of done what he did. you or anybody else can't tell me any different. it just breaks my heart to know that i didn't matter, after everything we've been through, & everything i've done for him. yes, i could be a bitch but that's no reason to do what he did. & i realize all of this now. hopefully i mean something to him now, so that he won't do stupid shit again. but i can only do so much, he's a big boy & can make his own decisions. 


i know that i sound like a bitch, but i can't help how i feel. i do love Duwayne, & i'm not going to break up with him, our love & our relationship is so much more than that - i'm just so hurt.


i'm praying that things will get better. <3

leader or a follower.

Hmmmmm, lets see here - are you a leader or a follower? 


Apparently, when people don't know you, don't know ANYTHING about you, & if you don't have proof/pictures on your Facebook about the things - it means your trying to be like them, because you all have similar things in common, & that makes you a follower of them.


NO, IT REALLY DOESN'T, IT MEANS YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SOMEONE & YOU THINK THEY WANNA BE LIKE YOU.


I'm so fed up with this High School drama. But, the funny thing is - they are the ones who start it. Makes total sense doesn't it? NOPE!


So, I guess I'm a follower Buddy Valastro because I like to bake & I'm going to open up my own Bakery - even tho I've been baking for hmmm, my whole life, & I've going to Culinary School? Good one.


Oh, & I guess I'm a follower of the Diesel Whores Association because I like trucks, - even tho I actually know stuff about trucks besides what a stack is, what you can call the truck, & what company makes the truck.


I do know one thing FOR SURE I'm not a follower of - I'm definitely not a follower of a CHEATER - I definitely don't go to strip clubs & get lap dances, I don't go on websites & get girls numbers so they can send pictures/videos of them selfs doing things, oh & last but not least - I don't let someone of the opposite sex sleep in the same bed, have sex with them & NEVER tell the person I'm dating & I'm supposedly "In Love With" the TRUTH.




So, when you meet someone & they show you what kind of stuff they like & the stuff they do, you should probably believe it. Just because they don't have pictures of every single freakin' thing they like or have, doesn't mean they don't have those things or they like things. Oh, & don't think they're trying to be like you. I mean seriously, who would want to be like you? Ha. Your just pathetic.  :)