As a child, I remember wanting to grow up. At 5 years old I wanted to live in my Dream House, which consisted of a pool with a water slide, a huge back yard full of children, a front porch with wooden rocking chairs so I could sit their & relax, a grauge filled with my baby blue convertible for Sundays & my mini van for Monday - Saturday, and a dinning room that could fit my whole family at for dinner so we could all be together for once. I wanted to be married to the Guy I fell in love with in School, because that's where Gracie met Charlie. <3 I wanted 3 children, 2 boys & a girl, a Husky named Blue, a job where I could work from home, and I would never have to worry about money.....sounds great doesns't it? :)
I can still remember those nights when I was younger lying in my bed, & looking up at the celing wondering who I was going to be when I was older. Was I going to be in Love? Was I going to save aminals? Would I ever get married? Would I ever have children? Would I be able to support them?
I grew up a lot faster then my friends did. In 2th grade when my friends we're writing notes to boys about how they liked them, I was replaying the arguments from the night before. My parents & my older brother never got along for as long as I can remember.Like I can remember being woken up by screams & yells & my little brother running into my room looking for me to hold him while we both cried. I protected him from all the fights & he knew I would never let anything happen to him.
There were nights that I didn't sleep at all because I was so scared of what could happen next.There were nights I prayed to God, "GOD PLEASE STOP THIS!!" while I cried myself to sleep.
Not every family is perfect, no, & I understand that. But as a child growing up with fighting, & crying, & sadness, you start to see more things, & feel things you've never felt before.
In 5th grade I was diagnosed with Depression. My mom couldn't believe I was because she never saw the side of me that was depressed. Fights & arguments were just a daily thing, & so as soon as I got home I'd go straight to my room, shut the door, & put on Spongebob so I couldn't hear most of the fighting.
But when they weren't fighting my dad was a Dentist, a football coach, & president of the football leauge. My mom was a assistant, & helped my dad with everything. They were never really home, & to me that killed me. :( I always had "Pizza Hut" or "McDonalds" for dinner, I've never onced have had a home cooked meal. I've never sat down with all of my family & had dinner together. Except for the Holidays, but that doesn't count. & this might sound crazy but it really hurt me. :( All of my friends had dinner with their families, so why couldn't I?
But as I got older I just dealed with the fighting. Of course I cried myself to sleep, & I prayed it would stop, but it was just always better to hold it in. My parents we're there for me, but I relied more on myself then them. My emotions & outlook on everything was much more different then my friends.
Since then I've became to who I am today. My name is Morgan Elizabeth Warring & I'm proud of the person I am. I'm independent, but I don't mind a helping hand, I've learned not to take everything so seriously, & I believe I can do anything I set my mind too.
Recently I made a big choice. I decided to move to Cleveland, OH with my boyfriend Duwayne. Sounds crazy, I know, but I love him & I know I made the right decision. :) We have our own apartment, & it's really helped me. I've learned to budget my money, & realize that I can finally be my own person. We both make money, & we spend it wisley. & if you would of asked me in 5th grade where I thought I was going to be in 8 years, I would of never thought this, but that's a good thing - it was something unpredictible. :)
I've also realized how much money really means in this world. Because when your not paying for everything with your own money it seems like it's not that hard, but when you do start paying for the gas in your car to get you to where you need to go, the tolit paper to whipe your butt, the food you put in your stomach to eat, the tylonal you take after working a 11 hr shift, or the $6.25 your boyfriend has to use because he forgot his safety glasses & has to buy a new pair, you realize how every single penny counts!
Recently Duwayne & I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. One of those things was tolit paper. We went down the asle & 6 rolls of 1 ply tolit paper cost around $4.00 & so I grabbed that. Duwayne looked at me in disgus & said, " If you ever buy 1 ply tolit paper I'm going to break up with you." He was joking of course ( I hope) & he took the 1 ply out of the cart & got 6 rolls of 3 ply Charmin & it cost around $7.50. I couldn't believe how much of a difference price was in tolit paper! I mean come on!
But I've gotten a little better. I mean, I'm still not going to spend $12.00 on McDonalds for me & him when I can go to Georgios & get a large pizza for 4.99, come on you can't beat that! I mean, if I got pizza every night for us it would be $35 - 1 pizza (5.00) x 7 days = 35, insted of going to the store & spending $85.
I can honestly say I would never of thought I'd be where I'm at today, but I'm glad I am. <3
Everything I've gone through, & have been put through has made me who I am today. Growing up is just a part of life, & even tho it hit me earlier then I expected it too, I'm glad that it happened the way it did.
