L0VE.

love. such a simple word, but has so much meaning.

what is love? what is being in love?

there are many things people could say, but for me, love is everything. love is the smile you get across your face each & every time you see them. love is the feeling of security you have when they hold you tight in their arms. love is knowing the mistakes they've made, but excepting them & still wanting to be with them. love is doing the simple, little things for them, the little things that mean the world to them. love is admitting your mistakes, & working on them. love is wanting to be with them for the rest of your life, & just the thought of not makes you sad. love is trying to be the best you can, & if you make a mistake you work on it to make it better.

love is what happened to me when i met duwayne. he is my everything. & when i say everything, i mean it. we've been through so much together, & we both know we'll be together forever. <3

duwayne & i have been together for a very long time. almost 4 years in september!we met in 9th grade science, & were best friends. then at a truck pull our sophmore year we started dating. sure, we've had our bumps in the road, & have challenged each other, but it's made it all  worth it. i wouldn't trade it for anything. he knows everything about me & i know everything about him. i have a horrible memory, & sometimes it doesn't seem like i don't listen when i really did/am, & it kills me. i've always had that problem, & i'm still trying to this day to get a better memory.


i used to want to be engaged as soon as possible. i wanted it so bad that i kept bugging & bugging & bugging duwayne about it ; which was a bad idea. i now realize that good things come with time. & when it's the time for us to be engaged, it will happen. & i'm not going to lie - I CAN'T WAIT! i mean, i know we're going to be together forever, i guess just being FINALLY engaged makes it 10x better. does that sound bad?

even if duwayne doesn't ask me for another 3 years or 5 years i will always be with him, & love him, & marry him someday. i don't need a big fancy ring ; a ring pop would be just fine with me. :) 

i love my booskie bear so much, & he is my definition of love. <3

Changes.

Okay, you don't have to tell me. It''s been about 2 months since I've done this. I'm trying!

& what a 2 months it's been............

Before Easter I decided to move back home to Kentucky with my family to help out. Some things were going on & I knew I needed to be there. Friday was my last day at McDonalds, then Duwayne & I would head home. I talked to Duwayne earlier in the week about me moving back home. I didn't want him to think I was just moving back home just because, I wanted him to know that when I decided to move up there in December I planned on staying there in Cleveland with him until he was done with school, & I never intended on leaving. Well, the Thursday before we came home I got a call & was told that my dad wasn't happy & was moving out. My heart completely broke. I knew that things had been "different" around the house the past couple of month, but i didn't think this would happen. My whole world came crashing down. When I was growing up I was always told fairy tales. Like the Disney ones. Tales about how the princess found her one true love & they lived happily ever after. Stories about how after you get married you'll live happily ever after. Nothing would ever go wrong, & everything would be perfect. You would always love each other, & always do everything possible to keep your love going strong. But that's not always how it is, & that freaking sucks. :(

Well it's been a couple of weeks since I moved back home & it hasn't been the easiest. Emotions have been up & down, & I'm doing the best I can for everyone. I got my job back at the McDonalds I worked at before I moved up to Cleveland, & I'm training to be a crew trainer, then a Manager. :) It might not seem like much but it is to me. I've gotten a lot closer with my mom too. She's been doing everything she can for us (her children) like taking me to work at 4:45 a.m. every morning, taking Spencer to school, cleaning up poopy diapers, & even Rocky's presents he leaves for us in the morning while we're running late. I don't know what I would do without my mom. I love her so much.

I'm keeping my faith in the Lord, & I have the best boyfriend, friends, & family in the world who are here for me. I love you all so much, & thank you for everything you all do for me. <3