starting fresh.

It's been forever, I know, I know. It's been crazy. We moved into a duplex. It just sucks that we had to move out of the house we* have all of our memories in, & grew up in. It actually really sucks.....

I try as much as possible to avoid driving passed the house. But, it's kind of hard when it's on Main Street. Even if I have to take a different way somewhere & it cost me 5 minutes, I'll do it.

I wouldn't say that things are going great, they are going...good. I've been doing all I can to make everyone happy. I'm being the back bone, the mother, the therapist, the provider ; basically SUPER WOMAN. But of course that's never enough. 

I'm not trying to sound crabby, or not thoughtful, but people need to remember that I'm still a child, & I'm still in this whole thing too. He is still my dad & she is still my mom. I'm still in this. I can only take so much, & once I blow my top it's not a good idea to put MORE* on me. 

I'm trying to help people grow in this. Meaning, learn how to not rely on me for everything, how to find themselves, & how to be their own person. I didn't just leave with a suit case & have nothing to do with them. I still visit, talk, & do what I can. Even tho I still get called somethings, & get treated like I'm the one who left -  I still do what I can.

I need to work on myself, & grow.

On a happier note, me & Duwayne celebrates our 4 year anniversary yesterday*! 4 YEARS BABY! Can I get a Whoop Whoop?! (saying to myself in my head 'WHOOP WHOOP'!) Gosh, I am SO in love with him! For our Anniversary I made him a scrap book. Every year that we've been together, I make him a scrap book of everything we've done that year. I didn't have enough money last year/this year to get him anything, so I combined that year & last year in this scrap book. It's very cute, I must say! 

He got me The Lion King Trilogy. The Lion King is my FAVORITE movie EVER! Yes, I'm 19 years old, & that's my favorite movie. Don't Hate! & so, for our anniversary, Duwayne took me to the Movie Tavern* to see The Lion King! ANY guy who will take their girlfriend to see a Disney Movie for their anniversary date is AmAzInG!! & yes, he is amazing! 

Duwayne means EVERYTHING to me! We started dating our Sophomore year in High School, & are still together....4 years later! I don't have any doubts, or thoughts about us not being together, or wanting to be with someone else. He is my soul mate, & the one I will spend the rest of my life with. <3 He's helped me so much through everything that's going on. Bless his heart, I've been bi-polar but he sticks with me & tells me everything will be okay. I'm so blessed to have him. :)

* WE - Myself, older brother Robert, little brother Spencer, my Mom, & little brother Hunter.

* MORE - emotions, guilt, etc.

* YESTERDAY - 9-16-2011

* MOVIE TAVERN - A place that shows movies & you can eat meals. (Buffalo Chicken Wraps, Fries, Steak, Etc.)