Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer's is a brain disease that causes problems with memory, thinking and behavior.

My Granddaddy has Alzheimer's.

My Grandparents (Nandy and Grandaddy) flew up from Florida last week to attend a funeral; Grandaddy's sister passed away. The day they flew up I was leaving to go back to Cleveland, but they we're going to stay all week, so on Thursday when I came back home from Cleveland I dropped Duwayne off and went to go see them at my parents house.

It was about 8:30 p.m. and they were  listening to K-Love ( a local Christian station ). I thought they were asleep, but when I walked in Nandy's eyes got big and she said "Hey babygirl!" She sat up from bed and we hugged each other. Grandaddy was laying on the other side of the bed looking at me with his blue eyes. "Hey Grandaddy!" I leaned over and gave him a kiss on his forehead, and he didn't say a word. He had a look on his face, like he was happy to see me, but he had no idea why he should be happy to see me. I didn't say anything, I just looked away and started talking to Nandy. We talked about what's been going on, and how the flight was, and everything else for about 15 min. Grandaddy just layed there looking at me, smiling every so often when I looked at him, acting like he knew every single word I was talking about, but he had no idea. I was getting tired from the drive and I told them that I would come over tomorrow to come see them. I kissed them both goodbye, and drove back to Duwayne's house.

That night while I was laying in bed in the dark all I could think about was the past. I thought about how much I took for granted all of those times. I thought about how just 2 years ago he wasn't like this. I thought about Nandy and Grandaddys house. I thought about taking those simple trips to Baskin Robbins to get ice cream or yogurt with them. I thought about the Christmas's, Easter's, Birthday's, and other celebration's we had at their house. I thought about Summer when we would spend all day and night swimming in their pool.

 I thought about every single room of their house. I thought about the times when I was little and Grandaddy would mow the lawn he would let me ride on his lap. I thought about the 1,000's of times I rode my bike around their drive way. I thought about how everytime we came over Grandaddy would be sitting on the front porch drinking a diet coke, and how everytime we would leave he'd be doing the same thing. I thought about going to UK basketball games with him. I thought about him calling me his baby girl. I thought about everything. I thought about how Grandaddy use to know who I was, and now he doesn't.

We started seeing signs about 2 years ago. It started out Grandaddy would forget that someone called, then it grew to him going outside to get the mail and halfway outside he forgot what he was doing, then it grew to him not knowing who anybody was.

My Grandaddy has no idea who I am, or who anyone else is. I don't even know if he knows who Nandy is. He doesn't remember all of those memories, he doesn't know who he is, he doesn't know anything.

I wish I could go back and do so much more. I wish I told him I loved him more, I wish I hugged him longer, I wish things were so much different.

Nandy is the one that I know is mostly hurt. The man she fell in love with, had a family with, and built a life with has no memory of any of it, and she deals with it each and every day. The second she wakes up she takes care of him. Cooks his meals, dresses him, and talks to him like nothing has changed. I don't think that she or anybody thought about if the one they fall in love with and marry will one day forget about them. But in the Bible it says -

1 Corinthians 13:4 - 13 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

That's what keeps Nandy going. She loves Grandaddy, and she would never give up on him. She's always going to be right there next to him and never think about giving up on him - because if it was the other way around, I know Grandaddy would be doing the same exact thing for the one he loves.

Just because Grandaddy has Alzheimer's doesn't mean that I should give up, or stop loving him like I did before. I still have hope that the Grandaddy I grew up with and spent my life with is still in there somewhere. I still have hope that someday he's going to come back and it be like it used to be. I still have hope that Grandaddy is going to call me his baby girl again.

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